tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-58594576363358301732023-06-20T08:47:00.936-04:00Words Words Words, etc.Jeffrey Colehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04014110308248636963noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5859457636335830173.post-73148629663793951322010-07-13T17:08:00.003-04:002010-07-13T17:19:13.792-04:00It's Camp!What follows is the script for the <i>Midsummer</i> pre-show. Don't think of it as being simple; I like to think of it as the Fairy summer camp version of <i>A Midsummer Night's Dream</i>. <div>Enjoy.</div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:6;color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:19px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#000000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:16px;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Act One:<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Scene 1<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Music begins, led by Becca and Bonnie (in character as Snout and Puck). Clanking leads to drumming and into invocation of the Preshow</span></span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Theseus: (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">over drums</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">) Let the games begin! (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">drums fade</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Begins chasing Hippolyta around the bench. Ad libbing</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">: I’m gonna get you!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Hippolyta: (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">playful</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">) Not if I get you first!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Theseus catches up to her, holds her by the waist. Hippolyta</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">swings around to hit Theseus, he grabs her hand and pins it behind her back. Repeats with other hand, beginning to get frisky, then Egeus enters with Hermia, Demetrius and Lysander. Throughout, Demetrius tries to be seen, finally getting up on the bench.</span></span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Egeus: My lord –</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Theseus: Whaaaaat?</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Egeus: My daughter (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">points to Hermia</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">) wants to marry this one! (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">points to Lysander</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Theseus: Okay.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Egeus: I don’t want her to marry this one. I want her to marry that one! (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">points to Demetrius</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Herm: But –</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Egeus: No buts! My way or the highway! (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">This gives Lysander an idea</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Herm: You don’t understand me at all! I hate you!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Egeus: Hate me today, you’ll love me tomorrow. What say you, my lord?</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Theseus: (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">to Hippolyta</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">) I’m going to talk for a minute and completely ignore you. Don’t fall asleep. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">To Hermia</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">) As Egeus is your… parent, you must obey the law of the land. Marry Demetrius.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Hermia: Ewwww!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Theseus: You could always be a nun. Or we could put you to death… My own wedding is fast approaching and I really think you need to work this our for yourselves. Lysander seems to be a perfectly fine fellow, but Egeus is the boss. Well, not </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">the</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> boss. I’m </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">the</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> boss. Egeus is </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">a</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> boss. He’s </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">your</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> boss and you have to do as you’re told. Sorry, kid. Them’s the rules. Demetrius, Egeus, come with me. Hippolyta – (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">she’s asleep, he shakes her awake</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">) come on, we have seating arrangements and china patterns to pick out.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">(</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">As they exit, to Demetrius</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">) I tell ya, kid, weddings are a big (snore).</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Scene 2</span></span></b></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Hermia: Oh jeez, my life is over. I hate everyone.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Lysander: Even me?</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Hermia: No, not you. You’re amazing and sweet and… taller.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Lysander: Let’s run away together.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Hermia: No way!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Lysander: Yes way! But we can’t tell anyone or we’ll both get in big trouble.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Hermia: I promise.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">(</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">enter Helena</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Hermia: Helena! We’re running away together!!!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Lysander: Really?</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Helena: Oh boy. Good for you. I’m overjoyed.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Hermia: Why are you such a gloomy gus?</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Helena: I like Demetrius, Demetrius likes you, you like Lysander and nobody likes me.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Hermia: Aw, lots of people like you. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">shakes NO to the aud</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Helena: I just want Demetrius to like me.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Hermia: I’m sure he’ll come around. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">shakes NO to the aud</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">) Anyway, we’re running off. Demetrius will forget all about me. You’ll see. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">again NO to the aud</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Helena: Sigh.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Hermia: Take care of yourself don’t forget to water the plants love you lots kay thanks bye! (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Hermis and Lysander exit</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Helena: I’m telling Demetrius. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Exits, off on drums</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Scene 3</span></span></b></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Enter Mechanicals</span></span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Quince: The play we’re doing is –</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Bottom: It doesn’t matter, I’m going to be awesome!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Quince: Yeah, sure. Here are your parts –</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Bottom: Again, I’m the greatest actor who ever lived! You should have seen my one-man </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Hamlet</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">. My fight scene was spectacular!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Quince: You can’t play all the parts!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Bottom: Do I get the girl?</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Quince: Kind of. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">points to Flute</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">) He’s the girl.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Flute: Aw, man!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Quince: Nope, girl.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Bottom: Aw, man!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Quince: That’s it! Everyone else doesn’t do much. Snout, you do something, Starvelling, you do something, too. Snug? (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Snug roars</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">) Guess who’s the lion? You all have your parts. Let’s not suck too much, shall we?</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Bottom: (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">grandly</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">) I promise!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Quince: Oh boy.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">(</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">They exit</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Scene 4:</span></span></b></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Oberon: (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">to Titania</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">) I’m so mad at you!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Titania: I’m so mad at you!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Puck: Why are you so mad?</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Oberon: I’ll tell you why –</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Titania: </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I’ll </span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">tell you why. There was a follower of mine, who I loved, and who loved me. She was devoted to me, and was one of my favorites. She was with child – (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Winter goes into labor; as Brandon is “born”)</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> but sadly died in childbirth.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Fairy 2: (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">regarding the size of the “baby”)</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> Woah! That would have killed me too!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Titania: And so the child passed to me.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Oberon: And she won’t share!<br /><br />Titania: Why do you want him so badly?</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Oberon: …Because.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Titania: Yes?</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Oberon: So, you know…I can teach him.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Titania: Teach him…?</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Oberon: You know…stuff.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Titania: You are so lame. </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Not</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> giving up the baby.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Oberon: But –</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Titania: Sorry. I’m going shopping. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">They exit, huffy</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Oberon: Ooooh, she makes me so mad!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Puck: Can you get back at her?</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Oberon: Are you kidding? I’m Oberon. I’m the Fairy King! I can do anything! (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">pause</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">) Flowers.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Puck: You’re going to buy her flowers? Boy, you </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">are</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> lame.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Oberon: Quiet and listen: purple and white flower. Find it for me.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Puck: You mean like, FTD? (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">assumes Oberon’s Cupid pose</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Oberon: No, like go out and find me a flower. You’ll know it when you see it. Go! Quickly! (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Puck exits</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">) (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">to aud</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">) The flower is magic. When applied to a person’s eyes, it makes them fall in love with the first thing they see. I’ll make her fall in love with…a polar bear</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Puck: (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">poking her head in</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">) No polar bears in the forest.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Oberon: (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">annoyed</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">) She’ll have a romance with a shark!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Puck: (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">same</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">) We’re not in the ocean.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Oberon: Well, whatever! Something… funny. Yes…something funny.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Enter Helena (Sarah) and Demetrius (Winter</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Oberon: Eek! I’m invisible! (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">put hands over eyes</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Scene 5</span></span></b></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Helena: C’mon, baby!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Demetrius: No!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Helena: But –</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Demetrius: I said no!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Helena: But we’d be so good together! If you need something from a shelf, I can get it for you…If I drop something on the ground, you’re already halfway there…We’re perfect for each other!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Demetrius: Perfectly no.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Helena: Fine. Don’t be nice. Be mean. Be angry. Push me away (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">He does</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">). Yeah, and throw me around a little. And slap me. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">she lightly slaps her own face</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">) Yeah! Slap me! Spank me! I’ve been so bad!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Demetrius: Um, look, superfreak, I gotta go. Thanks for telling me about Lysander and Hermia, but I gotta jet. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">exits</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Helena: But…I like the way your hair smells! (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">she exits</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Oberon: Wow.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Scene 6</span></span></b></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Titania re-enters</span></span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Titania: I’m tired. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">sleeps</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Puck re-enters with flower and hands to Oberon. Oberon rubs flower on Titania’s eyes as she sleeps. Puck and Oberon leave.</span></span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Enter Hermia (Claire) and Lysander (Tyler)</span></span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Hermia: I’m tired.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Lysander: Yeah.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Hermia: We should sleep.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Lysander: Yeah!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Hermia: I’m going to lay right here.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Lysander: Yeah!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Hermia: And you’re going to lay right over there.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Lysander. Oh.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Hermia: We are going to remain pure and sweet and virtuous and not touch each other until we’re married.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Lysander: Amen.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Hermia: </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Ah</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">men.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Lysander: Okay.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">They sleep.</span></span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Puck enters.</span></span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Puck: Hmmm. Boy. Girl. Dressed like townies. He looks like a jerk. She looks okay. Check this out. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">she rubs Lysander’s eyes with the flower</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">) Peace.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Demetrius enters, followed by Helena.</span></span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Demetrius: Look, will you please leave me alone? Look, what’s that over there? (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">she looks, he runs off</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Helena: Well, shoot. It’s dark, I’m in the woods, which isn’t creepy </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">at all</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Lysander awakes and rises like a zombie, transfixed on Helena.</span></span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Helena: Oh great, a zombie. Just what I needed in the scary dark woods all by myself. Don’t eat my brains!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Lysander: Your brains? I love your brains.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Helena: Ew.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Lysander: And your body, and your voice, and your fashion, and I like your hair…</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Helena: What?</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Lysander: And the way your jaw makes this clicking sound when you chew…</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Helena: Um, what?</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Lysander: I love you.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Helena: This is beyond weird.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Lysander: You are beyond words.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Helena: I’m out like a trout. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">She exits</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Lysander: I love fish! (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">he notices Hermia sleeping</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">) What was I thinking? You’re nowhere near as cool as her! You’re puny, she’s perfect. You’re small, she’s not. You’re ugly, she’s hot. I love her. I scorn you. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">he exits</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Hermia: (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">waking up</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">) Lysander? Honey? Sweetheart? Where’d you go? Really? <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">(</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">She exits</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Scene 7</span></span></b></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Enter Bottom and Mechanicals</span></span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Snout: You don’t look so good.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Bottom: I don’t?</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Starvelling: No, you look…bad?</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Bottom: Baaaaaad?</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Quince: Baaaad! Aw jeez! (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">They run off screaming</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">.)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Bottom: Wow. What’s wr-heehaww-ng with them?</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Titania: (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">waking up</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">) Achee-wawa! You are one hundred kinds of yummy!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Bottom: I beg pardon?</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Titania: You! Your voice is like the rainbow, your visage is a work of art! You are my muse, and I am but a lowly poet. You inspire me.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Bottom: Um. Sorry?</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Titania: Fairies attend! Make this creature of beauty comfortable in our home.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Peas-blossom: Hail!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Moth: Hail!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Mustardseed: Hail!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Cobweb: Oh hell. This is where the intermission happens. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Beat</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">) Okay, off we go.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Off with Bottom, bewildered. Enter Oberon and Puck.</span></span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Act Two</span></span></b></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Scene 1:</span></span></b></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Oberon: What the? Puck?</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Puck whispers into Oberon’s ear and they share a laugh. Enter Hermia and Demetrius. Oberon hides and Puck.leaves</span></span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Hermia: What did you do with Lysander?</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Demetrius: I didn’t do anything with him!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Hermia: If I find out you’re lying…I’m going to do something you won’t like and you won’t like it for a really long time! (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">she stomps off</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Demetrius: Well…nuh uh. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">he sits</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">) Who has two thumbs and needs a nap? This guy.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">(</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">He lies down and sleeps. Oberon rubs the flower on his eyes. Puck enters</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">.)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Puck: Lord, the other two are on their way. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">They hide</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Enter Lysander and Helena.</span></span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Lysander: But I love you.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Helena: Go away, creep!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Lysander: But I love you!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Helena: You are so screwed up.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">(</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Demetrius wakes and sees Helena</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Demetrius: You are such a hottie!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Helena and Lysander: What???</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Demetrius: Dude, step off. This girl is fine like an overdue library book.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Lysander: That makes no sense.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Demetrius: I am so in love with you.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Helena: You’ve got to be kidding.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">(</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Enter Hermia</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Hermia: Oh, Lysander! I’m so glad I found you!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Lysander: Well, you found me. I guess you can find your way home then.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Hermia: Excuse me?</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Lysander: You heard me. Don’t let the leaves hit you on the way out.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Hermia: What is going on?</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Helena: Yeah, what </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">is</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> going on?<br /></span></span> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Lysander/Demetrius: (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">to Helena</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">) I love you.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Demetrius: No, </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> love her.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Lysander: No, </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> love her.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Demetrius: No, </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">me</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Lysander: No, </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">me</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Demetrius: You’d better watch it. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Pushes Lysander</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Lysander: Watch this. </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">(Pushes Demetrius)</span></span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Demetrius: Dude… (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Pushes Lysander</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Lysander: Son… (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Pushes Demetrius</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Hermia: You are both </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">so</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> lame.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Demetrius: You want some of this?</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Lysander: Yeah, come on!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Demetrius: Come get some!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Lysander: You called down the thunder, well now you’ve got it!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">(</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">They slap fight.)</span></span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Demetrius: You suck!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Lysander: No, you suck!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Demetrius: Your mom!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Lysander: What?</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Demetrius: I mean…</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Lysander: What did you say?</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Demetrius: I mean, uh…look, shiny!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">(</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Demetrius runs off while Lysander is distracted, then Lysander follows</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Helena: This is all your fault. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">She exits</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Hermia: Mine? What? (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">She exits</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Oberon: This is bad. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">To Puck</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">) You’d better fix this. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Oberon exits</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Puck: Oooookay.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">(</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Lysander enters</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Puck: Sleep. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Lysander sleeps.)</span></span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">(</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Demetrius enters</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Puck: Sleep. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Demetrius sleeps</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">.)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">(</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Helena enters</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Puck: Sleep. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Helena sleeps</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">.)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">(</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Hermia enters</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Puck: Sleep. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Hermia sleeps</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">.) Now… when you wake up, you’ll be in love with who you should be. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">pause</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">) I think. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Puck exits</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Scene 2</span></span></b></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Enter Bottom and Titania.</span></span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Bottom: I’m sleepy. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">he looks at the lovers</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">) Seems to be catching. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">He lies down and sleeps</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Titania: Sleep, my pretty. Rest your weary head. I’ll watch over you like a zzzzzzzzzzzz-<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">(</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">she sleeps</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Puck and Oberon enter.</span></span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Puck: Just like that?<br /></span></span> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Oberon: Just like that. Crazy, huh?</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Puck: Crazy like a fox! So, what are you going to call the boy?</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Oberon: I don’t know. Names are weird around here. I mean, Peas-blossom? </span></span></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Anyway, we should remedy this. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">To Titania)</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> Wake, my sweet, and love me again.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Titania: (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">waking</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">) Oberon, I love you again!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Puck. Wow.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Titania: I had the craziest dream!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Oberon: In the middle of the summer?</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Titania: How did you…wait a minute.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Oberon: Nevermind that now. Let’s take a walk.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Scene 4</span></span></b></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">(</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Oberon, Titania and Puck exit. Thesus, Hippolyta and Egeus enter</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Thesus: …and so the doctor says, “Wait, if this is my thermometer, where’s my pen?”<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">(</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">much laughter</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Hippolyta: Well, there’s something you don’t see every day. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">to the lovers</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">) Are you dead?</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">(</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">The lovers wake up</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Lysander: I feel like I’ve been asleep for days.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Demetrius: Where am I?</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Helena: Where are we?</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Hermia: Mom?</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Lysander: (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">looking at Hermia</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">) I love you!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Hermia: (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">hugging Lysander</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">) Awww.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Demetrius: (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">to Helen</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">a) I love you!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Helena: Jackpot! (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">hugs Demetrius, high fives Hermia</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Theseus: Wedding, party of 6? Wedding, party of 6? Your table is ready.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Egeus: My lord!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Theseus: Sorry, them’s the rules. Let’s go get hitched!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">They exit.</span></span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Bottom: (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">waking</span></span></i></span><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">) I’m ready for my close up, Mr. Quince. Snout? Francis Flute? Anybody? Maybe they’re at Qunice’s house.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Enter Quince and Mechanicals</span></span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Quince: Ah jeez, what happened to you?</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Starvelling: We were worried sick!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Bottom: First things first: Get on your dancing shoes and pretty hats, we’re going to the palace!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Snout: Huh?<br /></span></span> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Bottom: Pyramus and Thisbe! Let’s go put on a play!</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">“Put on a play” echoes as fairies repeat the call, bringing all fairies into the space. Winter pops out to deliver the curtain speech.</span></span><o:p></o:p></i></span></p> <!--EndFragment--> </div>Jeffrey Colehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04014110308248636963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5859457636335830173.post-54702740966982040522010-07-06T15:48:00.003-04:002010-07-06T16:25:06.634-04:00A Grand Day Out, pt 1Today was momentous. Max's first trip to the dentist. He was worried (only slightly) that he'd get a tooth yanked if the "doctist" found one that wasn't shiny. I reassured him that he'd only have a polish and get a toothbrush and probably some stickers. <div><br /><div>We got there on time, which in itself was a small miracle. (You try getting anywhere on time flying solo with two way-too-smart kids who need to investigate/discover/explore EVERYTHING.) We also had to hit every red light in the Fan, at which Hudson would comment, "Uh oh! We're stopped! We're stopped!" Max would then shout, "Dun dun DUN!" and we'd be on our way. (This also happened a week or so ago. I guess all the cool kids are doing it.) </div><div><br /></div><div>The boys were their usual charming selves, and everyone told Max he had nothing to worry about. In the waiting room, there is a kiosk where, for a token (provided by the receptionist after the appointment), you can get your choice of stretchy guy, sticky guy, fake plastic ring guy, army guy, or colored bouncy ball. Kind of like at the entrance to Wal-Mart, only I felt less less ashamed for being there.</div></div><div><br /></div><div>While Max was in the back, Hudson went apeshit over getting a ball. The receptionist, who I think has a mad-on for fathers, gave me a token to give to Hudson so he would relax and play with the ball and shut the hell up so she could keep shopping online for high heels or keep telling her coworker about the outrageous fees they're charging at her tanning place or about how "they" have come back and how she can't wait for "them" to leave and she hopes "they" don't leave a "mess" when they "go." </div><div><br /></div><div>Hudson's ball was blue and swirly, and he fell in love, trading it for his beloved iTouch when the time came. We played catch for a while. He got upset when the ball rolled into the leg of his shorts and he had to get it himself. I told him that I wasn't going after the blue ball in his pants today, but if it was there for awhile, I'd take care of it. Much laughter from the ladies with nothing better to do. Hudson rolled his eyes. Honest.</div><div><br /></div><div>Max was finished soon enough and came out with lots of crap: 6 stickers he'll lose in the car, a small toothbrush that isn't as cool as his brother's, a dental mirror that will end up being used as a weapon and a surgical mask that is sure to entertain and delight. The dentist said Max's teeth look great and he must not eat a lot of sweets. That fool!</div><div><br /></div><div>Now Max can't wait to make frosted brownies and drink apple juice. Cole boys -1. Dentist -0.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Jeffrey Colehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04014110308248636963noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5859457636335830173.post-20836185849175204592010-06-19T12:56:00.006-04:002010-06-19T13:29:40.244-04:00Play NiceA few months ago, I participated as a playwright for Sycamore Rouge's 24-Hour Experience. The idea was that, from 8pm Friday night until the performance the following night (also at 8pm - hence 24 hours), a play would be created from the ether. Playwrights would gather, be given specific criteria (our play had to include an object, an activity and a name) and go. The plays were finished when the playwright chose. We read them aloud for each other, offering ideas and constructive criticism as needed. It was tiring, but a very rewarding and positive experience.<div><br /></div><div>I thought I'd share my entry into the Experience. Comment your hearts away.</div><div><br /></div><div><!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Sleighted<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">By Jeffrey Cole</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Lights up. <o:p></o:p></span></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">“Zero” by Yeah Yeah Yeahs is playing, mid-song (about 2:40).<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Legerdemain is dancing. GB is drinking at bar DL. She motions to bartender for another drink. She looks dejected. Bartender brings a martini. Tom Jones enters from house. He looks anxious, but quickly calms as he sits at bar.</span></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: May I have a vodka tonic?</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">He turns and ogles Legerdemain as she dances. She notices him and winks, putting on a show for him. He lays down a twenty on the bar. Bartender brings his drink.</span></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: Thank you. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">to GB</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">) Enjoying the show?</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Not looking at him</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">) The more I drink…(</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">pause</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">)</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: Right.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">They drink. Legerdemain’s set ends and she exits UC.</span></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: So, what do you do?</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: What? Are you really –</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: I’m just making conversation. Just trying to be nice.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: Keep trying.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">They drink. Legerdemain comes out in street clothes, next to Tom. They smile shyly at each other. GB rolls her eyes.</span></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: Nice show.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>LEGERDEMAIN</b>: Thank you.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: What do you call yourself?</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>LEGERDEMAIN</b>: Legerdemain.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: Beg pardon?</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>LEGERDEMAIN</b>: Legerdemain. It means –</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: I know what it means. Interesting choice.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>LEGERDEMAIN</b>: You haven’t seen my snake trick.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">pause</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">) Ah.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>LEGERDEMAIN</b>: Gotta pee. BRB. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Legerdemain exits SL</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">)</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: Did she really just tell you she’d “BRB”? Did I just hear that?</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: You did.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: I’m getting old.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: Really. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">They drink.)</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> How old are –</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: Not supposed to ask.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: Violates the rules of decorum?</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: I don’t know you.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">leaning over</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">) Tom. Jones.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: You’re kidding.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: Nope.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: GB.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: GB?</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: GB.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: What’s that stand for?<br /><br /><b> GB</b>: My first and middle names.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">pause</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">) You know, I’m just making –</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: It’s cool. I’m just a bitch.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: I see. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">They drink.)</span></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: What do you do?</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: I rob banks.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: Excuse me?<br /><br /><b> TOM</b>: Banks. I rob them.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: Corporate takeover.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: I wear a suit and tie, yes.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">(</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Legerdemain reenters from SL. She is very energetic now. She stands over Tom’s shoulder</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">.)</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>LEGERDEMAIN</b>: Hi!</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: Hello.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>LEGERDEMAIN</b>: What’s up?</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: I’m having a drink, chatting with –</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>LEGERDEMAIN</b>: Whatcha drinking?</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: Vodka tonic –</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>LEGERDEMAIN</b>: I LOVE vodka!</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: Would you like one?</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: Are you old enough to drink?</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>LEGERDEMAIN</b>: Yeah…I’m old enough.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: Are you still on the clock?<br /><br /><b> LEGERDEMAIN</b>: I’m on a –</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: Can’t drink while you’re on the clock, Miss.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: Really?</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: Yep.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>LEGERDEMAIN</b>: I get off in an hour.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: Can I buy you a vodka in an hour?</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>LEGERDEMAIN</b>: A martini?</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: Dirty?</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>LEGERDEMAIN</b>: Courtney Love dirty.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:'courier new';font-size:small;"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: Deal. I’m Tom.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:'courier new';font-size:small;"><b>LEGERDEMAIN</b>: Hi, Tom. I’m Leger –</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: You told me. When do you go back on?</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>LEGERDEMAIN</b>: In 2. I have to pee. See you! (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">She exits SL</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">)</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: Ah.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: Wow. You’re good.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: Like I said, I’m just –</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: Being nice. Got it. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">They drink.)</span></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: So…It’s Tuesday afternoon. Why are you –</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: Because I’m a bitch. I have no one else to talk to and I like to drink in the afternoon. I like this place.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: Are you mean to everybody?<br /><br /><b> GB</b>: Not everyone. (</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">She examines him.)</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> I hate your tie.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">They drink. Legerdemain enters from UC as Amberlin’s "Glass to the Arson" begins. She begins to dance seductively.<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: I like her. She’s nice. Good teeth.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: I noticed. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">pause</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">) So… tell me something.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: I’ve just gotten into letterboxing.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: Is that like kickboxing at the Y? Do you practice attacking mailmen?</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: It’s like a treasure hunt for grown ups.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: Oh. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">He drinks.)</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> So, besides being a bitch, what do –</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: I’m junior partner at Harris and Markson.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: You’re a lawyer.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: That’s usually what that means.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: Wow, you really are –</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: Told you. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">She looks at Legerdemain, who is dancing on her own planet</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">.)</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: Does anyone ever not like you?<br /><br /><b> GB</b>: Sorry?</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: You’ve spent a lot of time being unlikable. Does it work?<br /><br /><b> GB</b>: It’s been known to happen. Frequently.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: Do people get angry, or do they leave you alone?<br /><br /><b> GB</b>: They generally leave me to myself.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: I hate your shoes.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: What?<br /><br /><b> TOM</b>: Your shoes. They were the first thing I noticed about you.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: I –</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: They’re tacky. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">He finishes his drink.)</span></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: They –</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: Is it nice? Being so unlikable?</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: I get by okay. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">pause</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">) You finished your drink. Would you like another?</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: I’ll get it, thanks. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Pause</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">.)</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: So, in letterbox-</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: Do I remotely care?</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: I suppose not.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: You know, I’ve kind of had a rough day. I was hoping for some nice conversation-</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: I’m sorry –</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: But thank you for opening my eyes to the reality of things.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: The reality of things?</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: That’s right. Kindness is an illusion. Every new person we meet just hasn’t found a reason to hate us yet.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: I don’t hate you. I don’t even know –</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: And yet you still felt totally justified in –</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: Justified is a strong word.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">pause</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">) I’m not going to argue with a total stranger in a bar. Finish your drink.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">(</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">GB smirks and finishes her drink. She stands and moves very close to him</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">.)</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: Nice.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: I’ve never shot a lawyer before. Please back away.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: Shot a lawyer?</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: I rob banks, Miss Junior Partner. I’m not a very nice guy.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: Do you carry a gun?<br /><br /><b> TOM</b>: I do.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: Now?</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: Would you like to find out?<br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: Maybe.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">(</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Legerdemain's song ends and she exits UC</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">)</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: You’re playing a very dangerous game. I’m not really a guy you’d enjoy angry. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">pause</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">) I asked you to step away.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: I know –</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: Next time, I’ll tell you to move.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: Fair enough. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">She moves back slightly</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">.) Better?<br /><br /><b> TOM</b>: Okay.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: Sure?</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: It would be really great if you would stop talking. Really.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: Perhaps I should leave.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: It’s a free country. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">She sits.)</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> Obviously.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: Still want to shoot me?<br /><br /><b> TOM</b>: Lady, I –</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: Gladys.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: Gladys, I don’t really- Gladys? Really?</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: Really.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: I could shoot you. Put you out of your misery.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: Others have tried.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: I have pretty good aim.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: Look, I have to go.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: Thank you.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: May I give you my card?</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: Why, so I can friend you on Facebook? You are really screwed up, lady.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: I’ve heard that before.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: That’s a no on the card. Sorry.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: I’ll put it here on the bar, just in –</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: I’m going to take out my gun.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: Or not.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: Have you left yet? Can’t you go be a screwed up bitch somewhere else?</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">(</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">GB takes out her card, scribbles something on it and puts it on the bar.)</span></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>GB</b>: Take a look. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">She leaves</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">.)</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: Jesus. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">He goes to the card and looks. Reading</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">.) Third National Bank, 17</span></span><sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">th</span></span></sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> and Franklin. Box 347. Hand-carved stamp. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">pause</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">) What is this?</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">(</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Legerdemain enters from SL. She is slinky and seductive, but without subtlety</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">.)</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>LEGERDEMAIN</b>: Hi. Got off early. Where’s your friend?</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: She left.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>LEGERDEMAIN</b>: Aww. She was nice. I liked her shoes. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">pause</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">) Can I still get my Courtney Love martini?</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: Baby, drinks are on me for the rest of the night. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">He pulls out a wad of money and lays it on the bar</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">.) Line em up, I’ll knock em over.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>LEGERDEMAIN</b>: Wow! That’s a lot of money!</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: Very true.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>LEGERDEMAIN</b>: You’re a very nice guy, Tom.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: Thank you. Thank you very much.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>LEGERDEMAIN</b>: You’re welcome!</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>TOM</b>: It’s nice to be appreciated. (</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">pause</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">) Do you know anything about letterboxing?</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Black</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">.</span></span><o:p></o:p></p> <!--EndFragment--> </div>Jeffrey Colehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04014110308248636963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5859457636335830173.post-57839804847185410852010-06-18T21:32:00.001-04:002010-06-18T21:34:06.709-04:00Cool!<!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal">I just saw the coolest thing on the way home from picking up the boys.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I heard about a 10 car pile up on 95, so I took Jefferson Davis to avoid calamity. You have to drive through some pretty shady places to get to Oregon Hill/VCU area. This part of town serves as home for some of my students; I only wish them safety and security. That part of the Southside can also foster some pretty gnarly stereotypes, one of which I will happily demolish now.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Going about 35 mph, I saw a group of men clustered together in a front yard, backs to the road. They ranged in ages from teens to middle age and beyond, all black. I saw no women. They were dressed in the urban style of the day: enormous pants, sandals with white socks, sports jerseys or t-shirts. A Kangol cap or two.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">What was it they were watching, I wondered? A dog fight? Arm wrestling? TV? Moments passed, as I drove by them, the boys dozing in their car seats. Suddenly, a cheer went up from all the men, and there was clapping of backs and slapping of hands. Clearly, someone had accomplished something of note.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">The last glance I had before they completely passed my view was of the crowd of men, still cheering, gathered around a small table. Two men sat opposite each other, both with looks of pride and victory. Between them, on the table, was a chess board.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Made my week.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p> <!--EndFragment-->Jeffrey Colehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04014110308248636963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5859457636335830173.post-28195348275714642762010-06-17T10:59:00.002-04:002010-06-17T11:11:18.409-04:00The Beginning of the End<!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal">It’s testing time in Hollis, Queens! No, I’m paraphrasing Run-DMC. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">This time of year is filled with testing and testing and study guides and textbooks and attitudes and tutoring and disappointment and expectation. For me, after my testing prep has begun, it means watching <i>The Odyssey.</i></p> <p class="MsoNormal">It’s not a bad film, made for TV in the late 90s. It stars Armand Assante in the titular role. He looks the part, but Sean Bean in <i>Troy</i><span style="font-style:normal"> is the better actor. Still, for taking up two and a half class periods at the end of the year, as preparation for the final exam, it can’t be beat.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">It’s tough to believe that another school year is coming to an end. Of course, around November, it’s hard to imagine that I’ll make it to Summer. In June,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>however, I look back at the year that was and wonder where the time went. If taken in chunks (from holiday to holiday), the year isn’t that long.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Post Labor Day, the next school time off is in October, when the students have a day off, due to teacher development. The kids get to stay home, but the teachers are crammed into classrooms, “learning”. It’s all geared towards receiving points for recertifying our teaching license; it’s also nice to have a break from the students (and them from us).</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Moving on, Thanksgiving is the next BFD, one that everyone looks forward to. In years past, I’ve hopped on a plane to Arkansas to arrive in Rodgers Thursday afternoon. The students get excited for the first time of the year, regaling each other with tales of much food they can eat, the relatives they’ll see, they parties they’ll go to and the awful things they’ll do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span> </p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Then Christmas rolls around. Boy howdy.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">At present, however, I’ve got to try and have one foot in the now, with an eye on what’s coming up. <o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>- Do I audition for this show or that one? <o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>- If I do, will it interfere with Sarah’s plans? (That’s the subject of a future post.)<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>- What about the coming school year? What show(s) will be put on?<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>- I’m becoming increasingly interested in producing/directing. Gotta keep my ears open.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> - How about money?</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Questions, questions, questions. No answers as of yet.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">On a side note, I’m noticing my shape the mirror lately. It’s getting rounder. If I’m going to play a role I’ll never get the chance to play again (maybe in the Winter?), I’m going to need to slim down and get into the best shape of my life. No fooling.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">And life goes on.<o:p></o:p></p> <!--EndFragment-->Jeffrey Colehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04014110308248636963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5859457636335830173.post-68837607124990504132010-06-05T11:47:00.000-04:002010-06-05T12:12:38.069-04:00Today, part one<!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal">I’m ignoring the stack of <i>The Odyssey</i><span style="font-style:normal"> study guides I’m supposed to grade before Monday. Most of them are at least halfway graded, but I’m still putting it off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I’m determined. </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Boys watched Saturday morning cartoons. When I was growing up, it was Ninja Turtles and Lazer Tag and He Man and Alvin and the Chipmunks. Afternoons were reserved for Transformers, GI Joe, Silverhawks, and Voltron. The boyos are watching Thomas the Tank Engine and Dora and Diego and Dinosaur Train. Ok, I can’t fault Dinosaur Train. Annnnd Max knows more Spanish than I do. I think Hudson knows more Spanish than I do. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Max, while on the potty, acts out his books while he “reads” them, so there’s never a lack of entertaining sounds from the bathroom. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Lots of procrastination on my part while anxiously awaiting the arrival of Oma, aka MIL, bka my wife’s mother. She is a wonderful woman, no fooling. She’s great to me and to her grandsons; she has been teaching Max a little bit of yoga every time she visits. It’s quite fun.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Of course, the impending doom of an in-law coming means cleaning. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">So there’s that.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I hurriedly watered the garden and attempted a weeding; my gardening skills are lax, so I didn’t know if I was pulling up grass or weeds or an unmarked veggie, so I let it all rest. I put up some garden stakes, but I need some twine or clothesline to keep Tuckerdog from excavating, trampling, and causing a vegetable holocaust.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Hudson, diaperless, plays with trains. He’s getting a tunnel for Summer vacation. He loves his trains so.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Auditions part deux are today. Yay. </p> <!--EndFragment-->Jeffrey Colehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04014110308248636963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5859457636335830173.post-69770733198309899202010-06-04T16:27:00.000-04:002010-06-04T16:34:02.902-04:00Max Eats Giraffes!Always pull the straight parts. Never pull the loops.<div>This was my advice to my oldest son, Max, as he took off his robe (boys should really get dressed by at least 4:30 on a Friday) and I prepare this, my latest blogging venture.</div><div>My wife and I are very similar: people tell us we should write things down, and so we do. For maybe 2 or 3 months, and then it goes away, like dandelion seeds in the wind. She's had about 2 or 3 blogs up and running at the same time, while I putter around with one and let it drop. </div><div>Well, the gauntlet has been thrown down. </div><div>Don't expect any deep ruminations on politics, musings on art or passionate diatribes on the foundations of science. Don't expect much more than what the title of the blog is: words, words, words. </div><div>Etc. </div>Jeffrey Colehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04014110308248636963noreply@blogger.com0